Surprise! (a #weekendfreewrite)

I left the house, feeling like a piano had been dropped on my head. The taxi stood waiting for me. Christ, I hate public transport.

Rubbing at my aching temple, I sigh and fall into the seat, and wince at the stale scent of cigarette smoke that’s glued to the faux-wood fixtures, an odour that fights to find entry through my poor, aching nostrils and seeks to summon the entirety of last night’s booze out into the world within steel walls.

“Where’ya headed?”

The driver’s gruff voice stabs into my brain like a hot poker through ice-cream.

“Uh, home,” I mutter.

He turns and raises an eyebrow, and I avert my gaze. There is a bright green booger hanging from his left nostril, and it has eyes. I think it has eyes. Why would a booger have eyes? I side-glance it and it winks at me. What the hell did I drink last night?

“An’ where might ‘home’ be?”

“You know what? Surprise me.”

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The only forces now in play were the hurricane winds flinging everything in their way towards their shelter,” squeaks a small voice I assume belongs to the booger.

Why was I in a taxi anyway –who had called it for me?

“I’m still drunk,” I groan. “I have to be. Now a booger is tellin’ stories to me.”

The driver harrumphs and revs the engine. It’s a great roar that drowns out all else and sends me flying as he squeals around a corner. Woops, forgot my seatbelt. Thank god the window is closed.

My nails dig into the seat infront of me, so tight that if it were a living creature it would shriek at me.

“Get your claws out of me!” the seat shrieks.

“S-sorry.”

I’m not really sorry, and my fingers remain embedded within the soft shaggy fur of… snarling teeth whip around and face me. Is that a bloody abominable snowman? I mean, without the blood. It’s a freakin’ yeti!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Make up is now optional I see,” the beast sniffs before turning back.

“I’m not that ugly,” I snap. Wait –am I truly arguing with a yeti over my choices in life? “Is this really happening? I just want to go home.”

The driver laughs, a deep throaty rumble that vibrates the speeding car stronger than the whooshing wind outside.

“You wanted to be surprised. Here we go, dearie! I’m givin’ you the surprise of your life!”

“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” squeals the tiny voice hanging from the driver’s nose.

“Hwa-hwa-hwa-hwa!!” bellows the yeti.

Wind whooshes past outside, tiny tendrils sneaking in through the air ducts. Eh, if I can’t beat them might as well join them.

“Wooooooooooooooooo!” I yell.

 


 

It’s time for @mariannewest’s #weekendfreewrite! 😀 I left my 5-minute-segments segmented today, and I did the prompts at the start of each segment for a change, but they are still bolded and italicised. You can find each prompt here (1), here (2), and here (3), and you should totally join in too! 😀

It’s a hot and blah day today, and I feel just as hot and blaaah. Probably why today’s story is weirder than normal. But I finally wrote something after a few days of nothing! 😀 Hoorah!

The image used for my header is CC0 and courtesy of Pixabay.

Thank you for reading!

 


 


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